Forever
by One Foot Forward
Summary: IYYYH. "I'm tired of fighting the good fight, if you say the word then I'll say goodbye". KagomeKurama


**AN:** I find that the best remedy for hitting a road block, when writing a long, chapter-full story, is a little oneshot! So don't fret, I am still hard at work on ABNW (I've never used acronyms before when referring to my stories, so uhm...sorry about that). In the mean time, I hope you enjoy this!

The song I used it is **Forever by HAIM**. If you've never listened to them before I really encourage you to!

I'll put a little blurb at the end explaining the song as I heard it (which is in no way saying that's what the song is actually about) if you're interested. So, enjoy!

_Hey you!_

_Remember me? Remember love?_

_Remember trying to stay together?_

"You're busy?"

She nodded, although not _at_ him he noted. She was staring at the ground, dragging her eyes down as she attempted another faulty deception. "I am _so_ sorry Shuichi. Something came up unexpectedly and I need to leave."

She was not even trying to lie this time, and for that he ought to be grateful. It wasn't that he could call her out on it - if there was one thing Kagome had been clear on when they had started dating it was that she had a rather hectic job that did not allow for a lot of disclosure. It often took her from him in abrupt and inexplicable ways. However, he was tiring of having to be on the receiving end of her heavy sighs and pleading looks.

"This is for work?" He asked, leaning into her a little so that she either had to look up at him or bury her face in his chest. She raised her head, her eyes dark with unshed tears, and nodded.

"I really wanted to go with you this time."

He exhaled deeply, always an easy victim for her little truths. Even if this entire job was a cover for some ridiculous illegal activity, he at least knew that she wished it weren't so. He could smell the emotions circulating around her.

Worry.

Regret.

Love.

"I know. You cannot push this back?"

She let the thought toy with her for a moment before shaking her head softly. "I can't. I'm already in a lot of trouble for leaving to tell you."

He _hated_ that she did this. Ran off and asked for his forgiveness. He was an ancient and foreboding, and he gave his favor to none. None but her it seemed.

"You should not be punished for being incapable of dropping your plans at their whims."

She leaned into his chest now, aware of several stares directed their way by passerby's, but choosing not to notice. "I promised them."

His entire skin boiled with annoyance and anger, but not at the girl. He pulled her further into his arms, resting his head upon hers. "I know." He said, although there were many other things that burned at the tip of his tongue.

_You promised __**me**__. _

But he was not one to call her out on her falsities, not when he still was whisked away by Reikai on occasion. So when she sent him one last burning look, followed by a deep but far too brief kiss, he replied in kind, asking only that she return to him quickly and safely. For he may not know what this job was, where she went, or why she so often had to come back far wearier than she left, but he knew one undeniable truth.

He loved her. And that was something he could not yet bring himself to regret.

_My time, you took it all_

_You tried to see_

_You tried to bring yourself up without involving me_

_It isn't fair, to have your way,_

_To try and get up and go and na na na na now can't you see,_

_It isn't fair to have your way,_

_But I'm trying to get your attention and I need you to know that_

She checked her watch again, convinced that it had sped forward unduly. Sometimes, with all of her traversing to the past and mucking around with timelines, Kagome half-convinced herself that time did indeed move differently around her. For every heartbeat she felt in her chest, minutes passed, and surely the setting sun was still hours away.

As the light dimmed on her silhouette, a figure ran over, his breath labored and uneven.

Still, he stood tall after a moment, holding out a hand to the girl. "I must apologize for my tardiness."

He did not give a reason and she did not ask. When so much of her time was taken up by the jewel, she was happy to give the rest to Shuichi, even if that meant waiting. She knew that asking questions would only bring up unnecessary discord, and there was nothing she needed to avoid more than having to explain her sporadic disappearances.

She took his hand, closing her eyes as a tingle ran up her spine at the slight contact. "Oh," she murmured "it was no problem."

He smiled, pulling her in closer to him. She leaned into his embrace, a content sigh pulling at her lips. Everything was worth it, if only to have him for a moment like this.

Even though she knew he struggled, every day, with his curiosity. With his concern. She could see questions in his eyes every time they found hers, and she knew that one day she would have to face them. He tried so _hard_ to understand a problem that he never would have the chance to solve, all without involving her in it. She had begged him not to ask, and perhaps that was the only reason he had so far resisted.

She knew he had his own secrets, but she held no strong ground to ask for them. This way was okay, wasn't it? Just for a little longer, she could indulge.

She felt him lay a soft kiss to her forehead, leaning back slightly to get a better look at her face. It was not the best, she knew, for rations had been low last week and she'd skipped a few meals in between, but she smiled so brightly at him that he quickly forgot. He dipped down, capturing her lips with his own, and once more she relaxed into the lie.

Just a little while longer...

_Hey you! Hey you!_

_Can't you make this thing?_

_I know, I know, I know you ain't the one to play the game._

_Now I know I'm gonna go your way._

_Here we go, now I know, I know know know._

"I'm tired Kagome."

She took in his stance, leaning heavily against the door to her apartment, and smiled. "I can see that."

He could not help the small grin he gave in response, but he shook his head. "No, I mean I am _tired_."

She tilted her head, confused, or at least pretending to be. "Come inside and we can talk."

He continued to stand at the precipice of the hallway, not fully ready to commit to a confrontation. Still, he knew he could not say no to her. "Alright." He agreed, shutting the door behind him.

As she led him into the main room, tidying up odds and ends he knew she would not want him to see, she spoke. "I didn't think I would see you this weekend. Weren't you supposed to be helping out Yusuke?"

How deceptive that sentence was, he thought to himself. If he just shut his eyes he could pretend she was asking him - the him that was Kurama - how the latest fight had gone. About whether or not the demon had succeeded in injuring him in an irreparable manner, or if his prowess had won. But she was just a human and she would not be able to bear the weight of his secrets on top of hers.

"It turned out to be easier than we had planned."

She tucked the last out of place item back in, and turned to him. "That's good then. I'm glad you came over."

They were a couple built on easy comings and goings, but somewhere along the way it had become more than that. They still accepted that time spent together was unpredictable and fleeting, but now the secrets wore too heavy on his soul. He could no longer bear her hiding from him. And he didn't know how much longer he could stand to keep his secrets from her, knowing that there was nothing he could change.

He would not endanger a human he cared for again.

So when she tried to smile at him, the happy expression already faltering at the corners, he shook the leadened grief from his head. "Let's talk."

_Forever I try to make it right,_

_Together we suck, end in sight,_

_I'm tired of fighting the good fight,_

_If you say the word then I'll say goodbye._

"You can't be _possibly_ asking me to do that."

"I am offering you a chance to choose the path Kagome, not the ending."

She scowled, a snarl ripping out of her throat. He never would have imagined this side of her, so ferocious that he could not stop himself from backing slightly.

"You do not get to decide the ending, this is _not_ a one-way street!"

"You sound ridiculous."

Once again she gave him a glare worthy of his ilk, turning around on her heel so she was not facing him. Could he not see that she was just as tired as he? Exhausted of keeping to her duty and protecting the one secret she had sworn to safe keep? Had he not _agreed_ to that one leniency, that she be allowed to keep protecting under the guise of silence?

Finding that anger was the only emotion swelling underneath her fingertips, Kagome spun back around. "I sound _ridiculous_? You are revoking my trust! **You** are the one who is acting a fool!"

He had no argument that would soothe her. Truly, he had not meant for this to be the fight that they had. He'd had every intention of breaking it off cleanly, for the many good reasons he'd collected whilst rational.

She was never here.

She never told the truth.

She spent more asking him to forgive her for her job than she did asking him to love her.

Upon watching her however, as she straightened out the secrets hiding in her apartment, Kurama had not been able to pull back the vexing frustrating rising with each breath. This was _not_ him. He was not someone who would settle for having only part of a person, not when he could have more. He was a thief, and he was not accustomed to being refused.

The human side of him, the part that kept protesting the irrationality of this latest move, was drowned out by his growl. "A fool? Just a fool who _cares_ about you, who just wants to know what it is you do that has you bruised and injured and _always upset_. It is not foolish of me to want answers."

For a moment he watched her falter, her hand flying to her neck as it did when she was stressed. She was a being of passion however, and the fury returned quickly.

"And if I refuse? What then?"

_Forever I see you and me,_

_Forever I'll try for you and I,_

_No I never believed in the reason,_

_Just another good reason to get a ride._

She was threatening him with the very thing he had meant to do! Somehow, being presented with breaking up as the only other option raised his hackles, and he would not be forced into a corner.

"You will not refuse."

She stomped her foot, angry tears in her eyes. "I must! I _told_ you-"

"As if I ever would have predicted the full extent-"

"No!" She screamed, irritation pushing her forward. "I told you that this was going to happen! You promised me Shuichi, you said you wouldn't ask. I have to deal with it alone."

She tugged once more on the place the jewel quietly rested, its roaming powers temporarily sealed by a spell. Her hand curled upon her collarbone, tears running hot down her cheek - she hated that she could not keep calm under his furious gaze.

He growled again, although this time the sound was softer and more resigned. He so desperately wanted to rush forward, the sorrow on her face going at odds with everything he felt towards her - yet, her use of his very human name called rationality back to him. Kurama clenched his hands, planting his feet firmly where he stood. "You would find fault in my concern?"

He spoke quietly and for a moment it caused her pause. She laid her hand flat against her heart, her chest heaving with lingering dissatisfaction. "I would not." She declared, raising her head. "I would find fault in your _ultimatum_."

She sneered at the last word, astonished such a tone could come from her throat. But he had come storming in here, his earlier debilitation forgotten, telling her that either she give up her secrets or he would get them on his own. He would no longer be a passive figure for her.

And truly, could she find fault in where he was coming from?

_I don't want to turn around,_

_So come on baby,_

_Come on and try to let it out,_

_Let it go._

_We're still the same,_

_So come on baby,_

_Kick to the sounds, figure it out,_

_Let's get back to where we started out._

It was the calm in the storm, and it would only last for a moment. Already he could feel his control slipping from him, and it would not do for her to receive the brunt of an all-powerful demon coming at her.

"I cannot play pretend any longer Kagome."

"Why _not_!" She slipped, unable to deny him any longer. "You are not innocent in this; you have your own secrets. Why must we divulge our lives to each other entirely?"

She was not looking towards the future, not when she could not guarantee it. But why was that a flaw? What was so awful about being honest about the fragility of time? She knew better than most that life and death were balanced on a very thin line, and it took but a strong breath to topple you over. He thought the same, she knew. She knew him as well as one could know a stranger whom they loved. The big secrets were not important, as long as they just trusted the other.

She must have said the last bit out loud, for her lover gave her a bitter look. "You have done nothing to foster my trust in the first place."

He could almost imagine telling her everything. He could let the chips fall where they may and just _tell_ her. She was more of a fighter than he ever knew, and maybe she could handle it. But not when she was so unwilling to give herself to him.

"Neither have you." She murmured, all of the fight leaving her with this one strong truth. Of course he could not trust her. Just as she could not trust him - she merely knew that his secrets could not outweigh the reality that she couldn't tell hers. She had known this a long time ago, that things would have to end like this; her leniency, even to herself, was over.

"I will not tell you anything about my duty Shuichi." Kagome said, an air of finality around her. "Whatever the consequences, I refuse to."

He glared at her, so incredibly upset. "You know the consequences." He snarled, not capable of civility in the wake of their fight.

She nodded weakly, her hand once more digging into the spot her heart rested behind.

The silence was too much, the silence that raged down on him, which bellowed in his ear that this was the end and happiness was too much for a thief to come after. She knew the consequences, and so did he. With one last scowling keen of disappointment, he turned around and left.

_Hey you! Hey you!_

_Can't you make this thing?_

_I know, I know, I know you ain't the one to play the game._

_Now I know I'm gonna go your way._

_Here we go, now I know, I know know know._

In the wake of her absence, Kurama felt many things slipping from him. Love and joy were easily tossed aside, for he had no use for emotions that caused heartache like his. They were soon followed by regret and anger - he had exhausted those avenues long ago, and the effort required to maintain them was far beyond his capabilities. He could no longer bear to have such heaviness weighing down on him, yet he found that the vast hole that followed Kagome's departure was not easily disparaged.

It would have irritated him, but Kurama had no energy to feel that either.

His team tried to make him feel better, unaware of the lead that had settled permanently in his heart. They cajoled him with missions and fighting, and when that did not work, a lot of booze. He could have lost himself in either, easily, but there was still a small part of him that was disgusted with that sort of behavior.

And a very, _very_ small whisper that told him Kagome would never forgive such weakness, even when she was the one who had crippled him.

_Forever I try to make it right,_

_Together we suck, end in sight,_

_I'm tired of fighting the good fight,_

_If you say the word then I'll say goodbye._

The decision had finally been made for her.

Kagome had not seen the point in staying in the present time when it split her life in half. She either had to commit to being a twenty-first century flake, or stick to her duty and stay in the past until it had finished. Once Shuichi was gone from her life, she found little reason to abandon her friends.

In some small recess of her heart, the part that was not frozen - she would not, no, _could not_, feel the pain of his loss yet, not when she must remain upbeat and optimistic and fight this war - she hoped this would be penance. She had almost abandoned her duty, in her hazy, happy days with him. She had almost told him the secret she had promised her friends to never divulge, not while Naraku was alive. Not when telling Shuichi could result in her secret turning into her insanity, and he would tell people that his ex was the lunatic, who would not stop hollering about demons and jewels and soul-stealing witches that crushed her willpower.

She had thought that maybe he could have handled it. Maybe he would have been able to believe her if she stopped trying to cover her tracks. She could have shown him Inuyasha - after all, her family had been willing believers. Why not him?

But he had been unable to even believe _in_ her, and now she was paying for it.

She closed her eyes to the sun overhead, trying to see the reality in their parting. She thought to herself, in a moment of blinding honesty, that this was punishment for her twice-fold, for she had been just as incapable of believing in him as well.

_Forever I see you and me,_

_Forever I'll try for you and I,_

_No I never believed in the reason,_

_Just another good reason to get a ride._

"I can't Yusuke."

"C'mon man, you've been in a slump for _months_."

He sighed, lifting his head from the back of his chair. "I am grieving."

He had finally been honest with them, in ways he had not thought possible weeks ago. Telling his friends about Kagome had brought back to surface the many painful memories of her smiling face and sharp blue eyes, and he had wallowed in his house for a week after.

"You've been grieving for months. That stuffs gotta end at some point."

He shook his head, dropping it back down. He stared at the ceiling, hearing her voice admonish him even as he recalled how it had tortured his ears with its finality the last time they had exchanged words. "I am not convinced it will."

Yusuke was silent for a moment, allowing Kurama another moment with his solitary despair. "Maybe then you aren't meant to forget about her."

This did catch his attention, and he sat up. "What do you mean?"

The detective shrugged. "Well, the way I see it, if you can't force yourself to get over her, you must've been in love. And if it's that strong, maybe you should fight for her."

"I did fight for her."

Yusuke laughed, although he quieted quickly at the fox's rising growl. "No, you fought _with_ her. You can't give up after just one argument!"

He shook his head. "That occurred to me," about seven weeks ago, as he had lasted all of thirteen days without hearing her laugh, knowing he never again would, before returning to her place "but she is gone. Even her family has concurred."

"What does that mean?"

Kurama closed his eyes, feeling another wave of sorrow launch itself. "She does not want to see me Yusuke. I should respect her wishes."

She had disappeared, just as she had threatened to. He could not bring himself to be grateful that she had made the decision he had been incapable of.

_Go go go go get out, get out of my memory,_

_No no no not tonight, I don't have the energy._

_Go go go go get out, get out of my memory,_

_No no no not tonight, oh not tonight, oh not tonight._

She screamed, bow in hand as she released another arrow. It blazed a trail of blinding pink light - Naraku howled in pain, but not defeat, and struck out another tentacle. She watched as it narrowly missed its mark, a young wolf demon that was part of Koga's tribe. She did not have time to be grateful however, as there were several more appendages headed out.

One such hit her in the side, sending her flying across the battlefield. She landed with a deep grunt, a roaring sound filling her ear. She was disorientated for a moment, and in the ensuing blackness she saw flaming red hair and a different future than the one she was always envisioning.

Dead bodies.

Dead friends.

Tainted jewel and red eyes that haunted the world.

Kagome stood up, shaking off the ringing in her head. She could feel the break in her lower leg, but it did not prevent her from standing, so long as she rested her weight on the other side. There was a long cut across her abdomen, but she was pretty certain it was just a flesh wound.

"Kagome! You okay?" She turned, seeing a blur of red and white headed over to her.

"Inuyasha!" She smiled, happy to see her friend still alive. "I'm fine. You?"

They spoke quickly, aware of the fight happening around them. The hanyou nodded, his eyes bright as they scanned her body quickly. Kagome knew he would find it far too damaged for his liking, but there was little he could do to help her recovery in the middle of this particular fight.

Suddenly they were airborne, and she knew that he had saved her once again. She looked down, and sure enough there was a swarm of demons where they had rested.

"Thanks. Do you think we can get it an attack?"

He placed her down on the ground quickly as he landed, and she struck up a barrier so as to give them a moment of peace. Inuyasha turned to look at the fray, and back to her. He picked up his sword with confidence she was only partially sure he was faking.

"Feh. Of course. Let's get 'im."

_Forever I try to make it right,_

_Together we suck, end in sight,_

_I'm tired of fighting the good fight,_

_If you say the word then I'll say goodbye._

"You need to come. Now."

He looked up, his hands still tightly clutched around his book. It was the first thing that had seemed interesting in a long while. "Is this another pity trip? I'm actually fine-"

"No." The detective's voice was hard. "It is not a pity trip."

Kurama heard the anxiety that lingered under Yusuke's surface, and stood quickly. "Alright. What is it?"

The brunette took in a deep breath, trying to steel himself. "That girl you're so hung up on, her name is Kagome Higurashi right?"

All at once he felt the air in his lungs still, and it took a moment before he was able to reply with a breathless affirmation.

Yusuke swore. "That's what I thought."

"_Why?_" Kurama demanded, every sense attuned to the toushin's response.

"She's in Reikai, and she's heavily injured. They've put her in a coma right now, but Botan said that it was a _good_ thing-"

Kurama was in front of him in a second. "Take me to her." He demanded. "Take me to her _now_."

_Forever I see you and me,_

_Forever I'll try for you and I,_

_No I never believed in the reason,_

_Just another good reason to get a ride._

She felt _dull_. Her senses were dull, her powers were dull, and she could not summon even a little bit of emotional triumph. She was so renowned for her exuberant emotions, but right now she was a blunted object without use or purpose and she wanted peace for a change.

Just as surely as she knew Naraku was dead, she knew that she was not in the past. She could feel the jewel, whole for the first time in a long while, resting in her chest, where it would remain until...who knew? She didn't have the energy to think about it, nor the willpower. All she wanted to do was sleep for a very long while.

And yet, there was this voice, right next to her, and it would _not_ shut up. She supposed, if only to please it, she would try waking up once more.

Kagome blinked wearily, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the hospital lights. Kurama raised his head, his hand still tight around hers, watching with reverence as the priestess broke her three week slumber.

She turned, her eyes focusing on him. "Shuichi? What are you doing here?"

He laughed weakly, placing his free hand on her cheek. He was never leaving again, not if he could help it. "It's Kurama." He finally managed to say.

The look on her face was curious, but she was still too weak to ask much. "Okay...Kurama. What are _you_ doing here?"

She struggled to sit up, her hand flying to her abdomen as she did so. _Ow_ that still hurt.

"Oh don't do that." He said, concern laced through his voice. "You'll tear the stitches."

She ignored him, taking her hand out of his so that she could brace herself better. There was little Kurama could do except hover over her protectively. Once she was in a better position, she turned back to him. She was a little bit more alert now, and he knew she'd want answers.

"You're in Reikai," he started, unsure of how to explain everything "you were brought here when a sensor picked up on the magic coming from your well house."

She placed her hand over her chest, breathing deeply. "You know?" She put the proper weight behind her words, for so much rested upon this.

Kurama paused, knowing that there was little he could deny. "I do."

"Can I know?"

"Pardon?"

He was sitting next to her hospital bed, curled as much as he could around her form, so it was easy for her to find his hand again. "I missed you so much. I should have trusted you first."

Instantly he shook his head. "I should have accepted whatever you were willing to give me."

She smiled, although the action hurt enough to tell her there must be an alarmingly disfiguring bruise one her face. "Pretty words, but we both know that it was impossible to keep living in our lies. So can I know? Your secret, I mean."

She knew she had just fought what had escalated to the biggest fight of her life. She had almost died, her friends had almost died, and she had been shut off from everything she had known. But _he_ was here, and he was forgiving, and she could not fault herself for wanting to return to the happiness she had felt in his arms. She was tired of battling the good things in her life. She was sick of duty and obligation, and in this particular moment she knew she could finally let them rest. She was done with fighting, and now she was ready for forever to start.

All they needed to do was clear the air first.

Kurama leaned over and placed his hands on her face. "Of course." He breathed, looking upon her with a tender smile that warmed all of the cold places she had kept these last months. "But there's one thing I need to tell you first."

She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head slightly so she was looking straight at him. "Hmmm?"

He had never said the words out loud before, the silence of their lies oppressing any chance of pulling such honest words into reality. It seemed so imperative, that he be able to tell her this. He had almost lost her on more than one account, and he just needed her to know.

"I love you. No matter what has happened or what will happen, I _love_ you."

Suddenly her eyes were wet, and she smiled at him. "Okay."

As she pulled his face down to hers, her first kiss soft and gentle, she whispered in his ear. "I love you too. Even after whatever happens next."

_Forever I try to make it right,_

_Together we suck, end in sight,_

_I'm tired of fighting the good fight,_

_If you say the word then I'll say goodbye._

_Forever I see you and me,_

_Forever I'll try for you and I,_

_No I never believed in the reason,_

_Just another good reason to get a ride._

**AN:** Tada! It was a ton of fun to write honestly, and I'm more pleased than I ought to be.

Just one sentence from this song really prompted the whole story, but I did try to incorporate all of the lyrics. I just kept on having that one line - "I'm tired of fighting the good fight" - circulating my brain, and putting this image in my head of someone who is just exhausted having to do what is right and what is proper, despite knowing that it's indeed what they have to do. And when I read the _rest_ of the lyrics, I decided that the whole thing was about these two people who are so in love, but can't stop fighting because they're both refusing to change, and so they inevitably break up, unwilling to 'play the game'. Yet, they can't stop thinking about each other, about how much better it is to be together. Whenever I hear that one line, about the giving up the good fight, I think (at least, in regards to this story) of Kagome saying that she's tired of fighting her duty, of keeping the jewel safe and a secret, and that if Kurama would only...I don't know. Ask her to run away. Ask her to abandon her duty. I think she would. But then again, in all reality, I also think Kagome would never abandon her duty, even if it meant giving up true love.

So on that note, I also like to think that she would leave him the moment he pressured her to tell him - say the word and I'll say goodbye. I guess my point is is that there isn't really any purpose in reading the lyrics as only having one meaning. You can interpret it how you want to. But at the end, the last couple of lines there, they've given up fighting what is inevitable, which is that they will always be better together than apart. Despite reasons that would suggest otherwise, the ride is worth the risk.

AH. I've put way too much thought into this. I'm obsessed with HAIM at the moment, and it's all I listen to when I write. So if you did read this little confusing, nonsensical blurb, thanks! I appreciate it. And thank you for reading my story :)


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